It all started after some peaceful sleep (at last!). It was early morning and Rob was getting ready for work when I came out of the bathroom, worried about the blood on the tissue. It was wet like waters, and it wasn't mucus-y like I expected the show to be. It was one week before our due date so we spoke to the community midwife and the labour ward who suggested we go in to be checked over.
Withing a few hours the head midwife had declared we were in labour having seen the contractions on the trace. At this point I could feel them, but they didn't hurt. Our little baby's heart beat had dropped a few times so we set up camp for the day.
They broke my waters to help things along, but within a few hours the contractions had stopped so we had to be hooked up to a hormone drip to induce the contractions again. Having broken my fore waters, my hind waters broke on their own. It felt like I had wet myself and it was quite uncomfortable. My amazing husband cleaned it while I sorted myself in the bathroom. The first of many things I didn't expect to need him for.
The labour continued to progress with the drip but it meant we couldn't have the water birth we had planned for. I had been very relaxed about the 'birthing plan' - thinking of it as a guide rather than a plan, but now I was lost! What pain relief would I need and when?
The contractions were coming every few minutes and although they were painful they were bearable. Rob and I found our rhythm at helping and being helped. I was so relieved - I thought I'd be snappy and grumpy at him but I was simply amazed that this experience was happening to us. I felt lucky all day. The baby's heartbeat kept dropping and they didn't know why. There were several conversations about it all, but we were sent for a cesarean section.
I was so scared I was shaking all over, but I was also excited that our baby would be here in a very short time; Rob would be there to hold my hand and together we would finally see our baby for the first time.
I was wrong.
The senior anaesthetist tried in between three different vertebrae and couldn't get the spinal block in. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. A lovely midwife - Emma - pulled my head and shoulders forward to curve my spine, and I tried curling up on my side but it was no good. I had to have a general anaesthetic - Rob wouldn't be there and I would be asleep. I cried and cried as the team prepared me. I was worried that I wouldn't be there for the first few hours and that Rob would be alone. I had to remind myself that it was a small sacrifice for our distressed baby.
The recovery from the general anaesthetic is in a different blog because it sort of ruins the story of the best day of my life!
Rob brought our new baby into the recovery room with the midwife. He came right up to my face and I'll never forget the look on his face as he said "It's a boy, and his name is Lawrence".
At once all the troubles of the day were gone - they simply didn't matter because the happiness I shared with my husband at that moment overruled everything.
It took me about 6 weeks to be able to tell this story without being emotional and upset.
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