Our experience of child birth

I am fascinated by other peoples child birthing stories. Some are lovely, some are scary, some are simple, others complicated - but I love them all! This is simply our version of events. Please feel free to comment some of your own. While we were pregnant it seem bizarre to have no idea what it would be like. Hearing other people's stories helped me - perhaps it will help someone else.

It all started after some peaceful sleep (at last!). It was early morning and Rob was getting ready for work when I came out of the bathroom, worried about the blood on the tissue. It was wet like waters, and it wasn't mucus-y like I expected the show to be. It was one week before our due date so we spoke to the community midwife and the labour ward who suggested we go in to be checked over.

Withing a few hours the head midwife had declared we were in labour having seen the contractions on the trace. At this point I could feel them, but they didn't hurt. Our little baby's heart beat had dropped a few times so we set up camp for the day.

They broke my waters to help things along, but within a few hours the contractions had stopped so we had to be hooked up to a hormone drip to induce the contractions again. Having broken my fore waters, my hind waters broke on their own. It felt like I had wet myself and it was quite uncomfortable. My amazing husband cleaned it while I sorted myself in the bathroom. The first of many things I didn't expect to need him for.

The labour continued to progress with the drip but it meant we couldn't have the water birth we had planned for. I had been very relaxed about the 'birthing plan' - thinking of it as a guide rather than a plan, but now I was lost! What pain relief would I need and when?

The contractions were coming every few minutes and although they were painful they were bearable. Rob and I found our rhythm at helping and being helped. I was so relieved - I thought I'd be snappy and grumpy at him but I was simply amazed that this experience was happening to us. I felt lucky all day. The baby's heartbeat kept dropping and they didn't know why. There were several conversations about it all, but we were sent for a cesarean section.

I was so scared I was shaking all over, but I was also excited that our baby would be here in a very short time; Rob would be there to hold my hand and together we would finally see our baby for the first time.

I was wrong.

The senior anaesthetist tried in between three different vertebrae and couldn't get the spinal block in. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. A lovely midwife - Emma - pulled my head and shoulders forward to curve my spine, and I tried curling up on my side but it was no good. I had to have a general anaesthetic - Rob wouldn't be there and I would be asleep. I cried and cried as the team prepared me. I was worried that I wouldn't be there for the first few hours and that Rob would be alone. I had to remind myself that it was a small sacrifice for our distressed baby.

The recovery from the general anaesthetic is in a different blog because it sort of ruins the story of the best day of my life!

Rob brought our new baby into the recovery room with the midwife. He came right up to my face and I'll never forget the look on his face as he said "It's a boy, and his name is Lawrence".

At once all the troubles of the day were gone - they simply didn't matter because the happiness I shared with my husband at that moment overruled everything.

It took me about 6 weeks to be able to tell this story without being emotional and upset.

Trying to get pregnant!

This is a diary entry from June 2012 - we had just found out we were pregnant and this is the story of us trying to get there. I didnt write much about it during the trying so this is me releasing it all and trying to explain it to Rob. It was some excellent therapy at the time, a valuable thing to be doing now the baby is here too!

"In April 2011, my amazing Rob and I decided to start our family. We cancelled our 'once in a lifetime' trip to Sri Lanka on the assumption that we would be pregnant by then. It seemed like a no-brainer - of course we'd be pregnant by the summer. We were wrong, and we were gutted.

Shortly after this I was offered an amazing career opportunity. It meant we'd have to stop 'trying' (how can one word mean so much?) I decided the career was the right path. It was only then that I realised how much our (yet to be) family mean tto Rob. Seeing how emotional and upset my husband was - it was all I needed. The baby would take priority.

Now I needed to talk. No one has ever talked to me about their experiences of conception, during or after, but I needed to spill my guts and be assured I was doing the right thing. Emma was my girl! She understood, had guessed and said all the right things. I felt better.

By the time the job was due to start I still wasnt pregnant and we quickly calculated that I would have had time to squeeze in one year of teaching in this new role.

No holiday, no amazing job and still no baby. I began to worry.

Energy was plowed into planning our new home - the first we would own together. We demanded to be in by Christmas - we wanted to host! "Our last child free Christmas" we said to each other! "Of course we'd be pregnant soon" - the positive mantra came out again, but I didnt quite believe it.

I returned to work after the Christmas holidaysbut found I couldnt handle it. It was too stressful and it was the bottom of my priorities. Rob sent me to the doctor.  I tried my best to explain how I felt about the job, the lack of baby and a new house that I wasnt 100% happy with. The great and understanding doctor gave me some literature, a questionnaire and told me to take some time for myself. Through the information and a further appointment it was decided I had some anxiety issues
 - Relax
 - Stop worrying about the baby
 - Eat well
 - Exercise
This was the advice and I needed to find a way to slot it into my life.

I slipped easily back into work and my amazing friends held my hand, but Rob and I needed something new to concentrate on. Pepper was our answer

 

It seemed so simple

 - refocus (stop worrying about the baby)

 - exercise the dog (exercise me)

 - visit nw places (relax)

 

We brought her home in February and I felt like a new person. I didnt know how to tell people about anxiety without telling them about our still non-existent baby, so mainly I didnt. But I wanted to tell people how much the simple therapy of owning a pet helped pull me out of my anxious world.

 

We reached the Year 1 mark and it was the most upset I had been so far. Questioning why was starting to take over our conversations - not ideal for a relationship. I resolved to forget the 'trying' and enjoy my husband. We called it 'stepping up our efforts' and suddenly I remembered how much fun it was a year ago! I relaxed and perhaps that what made the difference because soon it was my birthday and I felt sick and I needed to pee.

 

We were in Lulworth Cove for my birthday and I was SURE, but I'd been sure before. We spent the day walking the cliff with Pepper and talking like it was a done deal. Rob revealed that my family would be joining us for dinner and it all seemed perfect.

 

"Peeing on a stick" - what a gift! I remember leaving it in the bathroom of our B+B because I couldnt bear to look at it. Rob went in after me and emerged smiling - unsure but smiling. It was positive and suddenly all the stress of the last 14 month disappeared. There was nothing wrong with us. We had succeeded. Our plan had finally worked out.

 

We spent the weekend telling our parents and siblings and we could not stop smiling"